In my work as an Occupational Therapy Mentor, I absolutely love mentoring, supporting and encouraging Occupational Therapists to build their skills, knowledge, and confidence. That’s not a just a catchphrase or fancy words, it’s truly something I’m really passionate about. I’ve loved supervising and supporting students on placement from my early days as an OT and then as I’ve become experienced over time and across lots of different areas, I’ve also enjoyed supervising, training and supporting early career OTs, experienced or senior OTs, other health professionals and beyond. I love seeing “aha” moments and seeing people try things I’ve suggested and get excited about doing things differently. I really like when I can see someone almost visibly relax when they’ve got something off their chest. And I love seeing people progress and fulfil their utmost potential; it feels like a privilege to be part of that.
When I worked as an employee, particularly as a senior therapist, team leader or manager, doing supervision sessions or running training for my team of therapists was always my favourite aspect of my role. When setting up my own business, I specifically chose a name (Encourage OT) to try to encompass that my vision was always for this to be a space for clients needing OT but also for therapists needing OT supervision or mentoring. And the reason for this is because I’ve personally benefitted from mentoring in my own professional career, both formal and informal mentoring. Throughout my own career, I’ve not always had regular clinical or professional supervision available and as a pretty independent person, I’ve generally managed OK. But I wouldn’t say that has meant that I have thrived professionally without some challenges at times. And when I have sought and received mentoring (i.e. external mentoring outside my workplace), I have felt so validated, supported, reassured and have learnt so much.
Mentors Need Mentoring
Does it surprise you that even now, as an experienced OT Mentor, I still have regular mentoring?!
I have regular mentoring about being a small sole female healthcare provider and the challenges that go with that and maintaing work-life balance! I have clinical mentoring in areas I’m less confident in when I need it. I use business mentoring if needed. And recently it was so wonderful to receive some marketing mentoring with the wonderful Chanelle from Ninki Content Marketing through the Women in Business program subsidised through the South Australian government. This week I had an initial 2-hour session and whilst it was focussed on marketing (at my request- because talking about what I do and putting myself out there is one of my biggest challenges!), I honestly learnt so much. There was so much wisdom that was shared plus it was wonderful being in the presence of someone that totally knows their stuff and was open and willing to share that with me.
I came away from my session feeling
- Understood
- About what I’m trying to do in my business and work
- Validated
- That marketing can and is hard at times
- Encouraged
- That I’m on the right track
- Relieved
- To have shared my challenges
- Clear, calm and informed
- About practical strategies and ideas of things to implement and try along with accountability to give things a go
And these are all the feelings I try to give the therapists I work with because it can make such a difference! It was such a great experience to receive that mentoring.
Helpers Need Help
So if mentors also need mentoring, then helpers need help! I’ve been an OT and helping professional for a long time. And at the core of my business as an OT Mentor, is the value of wanting to help those that help others; like providing help to the helpers. I want to help those that are out there helping people with health conditions and disabilities. It’s like a way of reaching further people with good quality services. And if our helping and caring professionals don’t get the help, support, recognition, or appreciation they need and deserve, then they can lose their passion and energy for their role. Imposter syndrome can develop, and people can feel out of their depth, anxious and stressed. And they can become burnt out from the demands and pressures of their work. This is incredibly prevalent in the healthcare sector at the moment and has a huge impact on an individual as well as their capacity to care, connect and help others leading to workforce challenges. [See here for my online course specifically designed to help burnt out therapists!]
But whilst I believe in helping the helpers, historically I’ve been utterly appalling at acknowledging I might need help and in asking for assistance with anything. When I’m having difficulty with something I will stubbornly persist way beyond my capacity rather than ask for help. You see even writing about needing help or needing and using mentoring just feels a little uncomfortable. Like “help” and “support” is, in my head, sort of for other people.
I suspect there’s a part of me that feels shame around needing help because I’m the one that helps- not the one that needs help. I solve problems all day long. People come to me for help. I like being helpful (also known as compassion satisfaction) and being needed. I’m good at helping- it’s my thing. At this point in, it’s probably a key part of my identity and how I see myself. I think this comes from growing up in a household where I had to be quite self-reliant and self-sufficient. And the helping aspect of my personality grew from learning to support family members with disabilities and to problem solve and plan ways for them to be involved; let’s just say, I’ve inadvertently been an OT for a long time! And because I’m the kind of person to take things to extremes I think, at some point, that it went beyond liking helping to being an overachieving helper. I have spent a lot of time making life better and easier for everyone else, whilst putting my own needs last, and without realising that this isn’t sustainable. Because helpers need help. And this is a good thing! Letting others help gives them a chance to step up and have opportunities and responsibilities and to grow. It opens up opportunities and allows them to experience compassion satisfaction. And if we do it all and don’t ask for help, then we don’t get to work in the areas that we are strongest in and where we experience “flow”. And we don’t allow others to work in these areas either. I’m getting so much better at asking for help and I’m finding that the discomfort is easing and I’m really enjoying seeing others work in their genius zone. And I feel a little lighter without carrying all the exhausting load of the world in my previous ultra-independence mode.
Mothers need mothering
This week has also been an opportunity to let others help me as I’ve also been quite unwell unfortunately. I think I caught a bug from one of my kids and whilst my asthma is generally well controlled any kind of virus or infection is a massive trigger for me. By Wednesday night I was struggling to breathe and really not doing particularly well. It was during a coughing fit, where my kids were playing quietly yet joyfully with some childhood toys of mine that I suddenly wanted my Mum. I’m not really sure quite why but I often want my mum when I’m sick. Growing up, she was a pretty tough nut to convince to have any time off school if I was sick- I feel like I had to be seriously unwell to stay home. There were no Ferris Bueller days off! But nonetheless, that night I wanted my Mum. I wanted her to stroke my hair and bring me soup or apple juice and to let me have ice-cream for dessert “for my sore throat”. I wanted her to tell me to stay in bed and just read my book and that I didn’t have to do my jobs because I was sick. And look, I am so lucky that I do still have my Mum around and in my life but it’s not quite the same when you’re a fully grown adult expected to keep adulting despite being sick. The definition of mother and mothering talks about characteristics of being loving, caring, kind and protective. I don’t necessarily think you need to be a mother to demonstrate these traits. Nonetheless, this Mother’s Day, I’d like to recognise all the people in my life who show kindness and care and protection of me (including those that support me in protecting my time, energy, and compassion). And if you’re re-parenting yourself and learning how to do this for you- then that’s incredibly worthy work.
Everyone, including Mums, needs, and deserves mothering at times. Happy Mother’s Day!
And if any of this resonated with you and you’d like to discuss further, please dont hesitate to contact me.
