Can you believe it’s been 1 month since the OT Exchange conference?!
For me, there’s been so much that came out of that conference and in some ways, I’m still reflecting on some of the ideas, thoughts and conversations that I had at the conference as a first time exhibitor!
As you may know if you’ve read my previous blog post, the theme I chose for my stand at the conference was “You Can’t Pour from an Empty Cup”. There’s no demand to choose a theme but I guess for me it helped me to have a focus that was aligned with my purpose i.e. I was there to connect with OTs and to encourage OTs… and I know that OTs often give so much to others that there’s not a lot left which is part of what contributes to the burnout experience (been there, done that!). So I wanted to gently remind OTs of the need to fill their cup and remind them to fill their cup.
I think we probably all get the concept of not being able to pour from an empty cup; like it’s self-explanatory in a way. If we’ve given of ourselves to others, then we can feel empty and depleted unless we find a way to fill ourselves up again. As OT’s are helping professionals, we are really compassionate and so listening, holding space and supporting those we work with can be draining; that’s part of what we might refer to as compassion fatigue. And that’s normal and OK… as long as we can find a way to fill our cup. That we’re not only giving and giving and giving… without ever taking time for things to fill us up.
To expand on this further, I wanted to share one of the conversations that I had at the conference with a wonderfully experienced OT. They shared with me that they had learnt that it wasn’t just about ensuring we fill ourselves up but that we should actually give from our overflow. So that we don’t let ourselves get to the point of being empty and then filling ourselves up. We remain full and in fact we take care of ourselves and our needs to the point at which we are overflowing and then we give from that overflow into others…
This allows us to give generously and wholly without it taking from ourselves.
We’re still full and we’re giving to others.
This has really stuck with me. I love it as a concept… It leads back to what we can do to fill ourselves and to ensure we stay as full as possible to be able to pour from the overflow… I’m not sure I have the answers there as it seems so foreign in a way especially perhaps in the context of work, and some of the spaces we work in, feeling so draining at the moment (NDIS cough.. cough..)
And this leads to one of the other reflections that I have had on this topic which was triggered by my lovely friend Bronwyn Paynter Nature OT who shared on her wall the expression of “I deserve to be filled the same way I pour”…
I think this is such an interesting concept… I think we can definitely feel like this. I think we can feel resentful when we aren’t filled in the same way we pour for sure. I think sometimes we give and we give so much and then it can it feel that others don’t fill us enough or the way we give to them. Like, have you ever had a relationship where you’re the one that does most of the work. You reach out, you organise the events, you listen to everything that they share, and you put a lot of yourself in to the friendship but maybe the other person doesn’t reciprocate equally and you come away from a catch up feeling like your own needs weren’t met. It can cause you to feel uncertain about the quality of your friendship and sometimes also resentful.
I think, using the pouring analogy, this is like the quality of the pour… like you’re pouring out hot liquid espresso from beans roasted in Kenya… but maybe you’re being filled only halfway with lukewarm lemon cordial. I think we’d all really like this to be much more equal, fair and balanced of course.
BUT I think we also need to be careful about expectations.
I think we can sometimes have expectations that our work as OTs will automatically fill us up. That we will get that compassion satisfaction from helping someone and that will be enough to fill us up. Because we love helping others and that makes us feel good. A client achieving their goals or being able to do something they couldn’t previously manage or getting a piece of equipment that is life changing, is really really satisfying. But I do think we have to be careful here about how much we rely on this to fill us up. Something that has stuck with me in the past from a course I did with Michelle Bihary is that “effort doesn’t always equal outcome”. And I’ve seen this firsthand in my work in neurorehabilitation. I can deliver optimal evidence-based practice upper limb therapy and pour my energy into that, only to achieve minimal measurable improvement. There may be some functional gains or small quality improvements… but there also may not be any outcomes no matter what you do or how hard you work. And that is usually due to circumstances outside of our control (e.g. the severity of the stroke). Outside of clinical examples, I’ve been known to spent huge time and effort in to developing resources for my OTs and just haven’t got the take up, reception or gratitude I was expecting. I’ve poured my heart and soul into my burnout course and whilst it’s made an impact with many OTs it’s not entirely the global sensation I secretly hoped for! I also know business owners who care deeply about their employees and pay above award or offer significant benefits who still have OTs leave their practice. I know I’m not alone here from what I see being shared online with client work and reports in a range of different spaces. It can be frustrating to work so hard and never see an outcome or be appreciated for the work that we do.
So I think we have watch those expectations of who and what will fill our cup. Because there will be situations and times where, in healthcare. it’s just not reciprocal. Where we pour and pour and pour and we will not get back what we’ve poured out. We will not get the level of compassion satisfaction for the amount of pouring we’ve done. And I think maybe we need to shift our expectations of getting filled from our work.
There’s an expression in the old movie Cool Runnings when they’re talking about gold medals and the coach says something like “because if you’re not enough without it, you’ll never be enough with it”.
I think that’s relevant for us and how we see our worth and value as OTs (and as individuals). We have to intrinsically believe that we are worthy of having our cup filled and find actual ways of getting our cup filled without relying purely on others or our work as an OT to fill us up. Because there will be times and situations where our work cannot do this not matter how hard we’ve tried or how much we’ve given.
And I do think that’s partly what we are experiencing in the NDIS space at the moment. I think it can be really unequal with how much we pour out and pour ourselves into our AT applications and our 55 page Functional Capacity Assessments to try and get a great outcome for our clients… and we’re just not necessarily getting the expected outcome for the amount of effort. We’re not getting that reward and feeling of success when we’ve helped someone that we expected or hoped for. And that is nothing to do with the quality of these reports or the efforts you’ve applied. It’s nothing to do with your worth as an Occupational Therapist.
I also think we have to then be careful with how much we invest- how much we pour or give of ourselves, particularly emotionally. It can be helpful to rethink our emotional attachment and investment into our work. I’m not saying to not care or feel deeply but maybe finding a way to step back and look at the bigger picture. I think my burnout experience taught me to be better with some boundaries about that emotional investment in my work and to not let myself get too deep.
One of the other things that my burnout experience taught me, is to really not measure my worth or value by the outcome and to change the metric by which I measure my effectiveness or worth as an OT. I suppose these days, I try to measure the journey and the experience. Like being satisfied with achieving the task itself e.g. completing a Functional Capacity Assessment. And feeling proud of the quality of my work in terms of the level of care and connection I achieve with a client, hearing their story, presenting their story, thinking of creative solutions to their challenges, working alongside them and supporting their own journey and experiences. Achieving an outcome in terms of getting something approved from a report is really and truly a bonus for me. I try not to measure my worth as an OT and if I’m a “good OT” by what a funding body chooses to do with my recommendations. I suppose, to stretch the analogy about as far as it goes, I value the quality of the coffee I pour out. I try not to measure my success by how much I pour out (e.g. quantity of time or billables) or by how my coffee is received by the client.
I think the next steps are probably the critical ones; how do we then fill our cup? How do we fill it so much that we can give from overflow? How do we fill with the good quality stuff that means we can pour our best? How do we shift the metrics by which we measure our worth and our value? How can we hold on to our intrinsic worth and value as a “good OT” within systems that don’t help us feel like that and that may be draining your cup by merely interacting with them?!
I don’t have all the answers for sure but I think there’s value in thinking and reflecting about this and having conversations about this. I know for me I’ve had to find ways to fill my cup outside of OT and actually hold some boundaries about how immersed I get in some of the challenging spaces e.g. turning off my Facebook notifications from OT groups, having a break from OT podcasts and not actively listening or engaging with provider groups or forums. I know that there’s a need and benefit to so many of those things but for me, I’ve had to protect myself and my heart a little bit from some of those and dip in and out when I have capacity. One of the most important things for me has been connection with other OTs; yes for having a vent about stress but actually keeping that contained and having those beautiful conversations about what we’re really trying to do and achieve and being supported in our thinking, which is often counter cultural in a way. I think some of these beautiful conversation in my mentoring sessions are definitely a mutual cup filling experience!
The Becoming Collective is also one of the spaces which I think is helpful in support us to hold on to our worth and value and OT-ness. And I’m joining Brad in a couple of weeks to chat about what makes a “good OT” and a “proper OT” and we have such awesome (and long and deep) chats that I am so looking forward to it!
Keen to hear from you about what fills your cup?! How do you hold on to your worth as an OT?
